I Can Breathe Again, Kinda

I'm back in good ole TC. The house is such an improvement over the country house as far as mold goes. Good A/C and high ceilings. We both slept good last night. But, upon arrival yesterday, the chemical plants were letting some chemical out into the air and it smelled bad. I put my shirt up over my nose as I was unloading the truck. I should probably move out of this city.

Our renter came by last night to let us know he was out of the house now. We enjoyed visiting with him for about an hour. Then we went to check out the house. We were very impressed with the house condition, luckily, since we gave him his deposit back without looking at the house first. (He is a family friend). The neighbors are interested in their relatives renting it. But they told my renter that they would come pick up some furniture they wanted over a week ago, and they haven't picked it up yet. Now it's on the front porch waiting for them to come pick it up. I think that shows bad character and now I am reluctant to rent to their relatives.

I plan to finish rummaging through the upstairs bedroom today so that Barry can start painting that room. Then on to the next room. Then on to searching for a job. I want to be settled into a bedroom before I begin work. I don't want to be searching for my clothes in three different rooms and sleeping in different rooms as well while working.

One more cup of coffee and I'm off and running...

Black Panther of Death

All that talk of death yesterday culminated in my dreams last night. As I was walking among wild animals, such as black bears with brown noses, a black panther leaped at me and began sniffing my neck. Then the panther bit my neck, and I began to die.

There is a benefit today for a lead guitar player of a local blues band. It is located at the Good Times Marina in Houston. It is about an hour away from here. Good bands are going to be there. I think I want to go. But then again, I think I don't.

It's raining.

I'm washing all the sheets and pillow cases right now. They smell like mold. Mold is growing on everything. That may have something to do with my mood. My moldy mood is conducive to the blues. I should go to the benefit. Boogie Woogie piano playing makes me smile. "Queen of the 88s" is a good boogie woogie song.

The dryer is calling...

Just Yesterday

Just yesterday I was pregnant. Two summers in a row. Now, twenty-four years later, I sit alone. I wonder sometimes if I would feel more alone if my spouse died. I am now the next in line to die. We all have to do it. I'm next. Found a poem written by Mom in the 80's, "Entering age is like leaving a party and coming home to an empty abode." That could be a good thing, but I read it as a sad thing. Just yesterday, Ma-Moo won a singer sewing machine at Almeda Mall. Now she is dead. Just yesterday Mom enjoyed a song. Now she is dead. Today I'm blogging, tomorrow I'm gone? My oh my, why do we have to die? What will my legacy be? Fishsticks? Why is a legacy important? Will my decendents care a thing about me when I'm gone? Will my great great grandchildren wonder about me and what kind of a life I led? What will they find in their search? My blogs. Hello little ones. I wish I was with you now, enjoying being alive, full of wisdom. It's true, an idle mind is the devil's playground. I'm up at the place in the country with an idle mind, and see what I'm thinking about... Without some lesson to prepare for, my mind is straying to the side of doom and gloom. Earlier I read two essays I wrote regarding Middle Eastern History. I was impressed with myself. I plan on re-reading the many papers and notes that I wrote over the past four years in an attempt to remember what I learned. I am thankful that I went to college and earned a degree. I wish I would have earned a money making degree instead of a humanities degree. Only because now I have to re-enter the working world as an educated 'Clerk.' Well, I hear the spouse in the kitchen. I'll close now.

Rain Rain and Yesterday

It's been raining for two days. A pond is now under the house. Rue is in the house. She trys to jump on me everytime it thunders. I threw her off of me and she landed half-way on the other chair. She is big, too. My arm is sore. I showed her some safe places to hide, like under the bed and under the stairs, but she is currently lying beside me. The weather has calmed down a bit. She slept with me last night and shook the whole bed with her nerves. I tried calming her like I would a baby, rocking and rhythmic humming, but I began to feel silly. I led her to under the bed and she gladly went. I was then able to go to sleep. She is my dog....

Yesterday I started working in the upstairs bedroom. I found a bag of old baby clothes from when my oldest brother was a baby. I recognize the clothes from the pictures I've been looking at. It was a sweet experience touching and folding them. I imagined Mother folding them when they were new. And her excitement over her mother having made some of them. I also began taking Mom's clothes out of the closet and folding them in preparation to give them away. I found kleenex and hard candies in the pockets of her blazers. Of course I got sad again. A bitter-sweet sadness. I also found some old dresses of Ma-Moo's (my grandmother). I couldn't bring myself to get rid of them. I also saved Mom's poke-a-dot dresses, since that is the essence of her. I found some pictures of Dad that I don't remember seeing before. This cleaning out the house is a most precious job. I'm glad to have this opportunity. Last night Ronnie refused to take the latest box I collected for him. He said, "Not anh, I'm workin!" (delivering pizza). I told him I'd bring it to him later. All he had to do was put it in his frickin car. Good Grief. He goes into depression when he reads old letters.

Tuesday Barry, Taunie, and I went to UHCL to hear a presentation on the Battle of the Bay, The Civil War in Galveston. It was very interesting and comical. A comedy of errors led to a confederate victory. Barry and I then went to the Top Water Grill in San Leon for a shrimp dinner. The shrimp was delicious, but the water tasted like chlorine and the cole slaw tasted sour. Barry didn't notice.

O Happy Day

Nathan received a refund from the Judge as well as managed to get the ticket dismissed. We went to the mall today and bought Nathan a new pair of workboots. Marilyn ate my dogs' heartworm medicine. I called the vet, and she will be fine, but we're out of $20 worth of medicine. Then later she found a roach bait thingy and began chewing on it. She keeps me hopping, but I just love her to death. She is so cute. I will miss her when they leave tonight. Nathan is currently taking a nap upstairs. Barry is scrapping and painting the front door. He is in a bad mood for some reason. Thank goodness for dogs. Jacob is discovering that not all girls hate boys. The spaghetti is done.....

My Grand-dog, Marilyn

Since none of mine nor Barry's children seem to be interested in having children, my son's new pit-bull puppy is my substitute grandchild. Nathan is working nearby in LaGrange, Tx, so he comes to visit on the weekends, leaves the grand-dog with me, and heads to houston to party with friends. Her name is Marilyn because she is so beautiful. Solid white with blue eyes. She is currently under my chair chewing on a chew-thing I bought for her. She is ripping it to shreads. (Marilyn-Manson!) It's not like Nathan can't find enough trouble without owning a vicious dog. But she is so cute! I love her even though she bites me. Now she is laying on my bed barking at me and wagging her tail. Now Sammy has begun barking, too. I feel like a young mother with a new toddler, that bites. She almost caused Nathan to get shot by a highway patrolman today. yup, Nathan got pulled over and searched. Marilyn jumped out of the truck when the officer opened the door. He instinctively turned his back on Nathan to catch Marilyn. He then realized his error and put his hand on his gun as he turned around to face Nathan. Nathan immediately put his hands in the air and yelled, "I'm not going to do nothin!!!!!" She is now sleeping on my bed. awwwwwwwww. She looks to sweet and cute! Just like demon children look with they sleep.
Duncan left today. His mama cut short the democratic convention in houston. He was sad to leave, but I could tell he was happy to learn that she was coming today. The poor boy has symptons of OC disorder. I mentioned that to his mother almost a year ago. She immediately felt guilty for not noticing. This time I told his dad and he was very aware of the problem. He said the mom is in denial. I hope they get help for him. He won't be able to function much longer in society if he doesn't get the symptons under control. I became obsessive watching him. When I read up on the problem, I saw symptoms in myself and my husband. He collects stupid things like ice-cream buckets (too many of them), and I have recently enjoyed scratching my scalp of scabs. Poor kid doesn't have a chance.
I'm enjoying my new house. I am preparing for the arrival of seven guests tomorrow. Barry's nephew and niece plus their families, plus Nathan and Barry and me, makes 10 people in this house. My brother said the commode with stop up. I bought a badmitton set tonight in hopes of the children playing outside. Florence is planning on making a home-made lasagna tomorrow for supper.
Well, I guess I've blogged enough for now...

Camp Riff-Raff

Duncan is visiting this week. So far we saw a rat at the pond and a skunk in a neighbors yard. A thunderstorm scared Rue so bad that she got out of the backyard. She was missing for two days. We went to the pound to see if she got arrested (she and Nathan, wad I gonna do?), but she was not there; and they had not picked up any dead dogs since she became missing. We looked all over town for her. This morning Andrew, our 6 year-old neighbor consistantly banged on the front door as he was frantically yelling, "We found Roof, we found Roof, she's in your backyard!" So I joyously ran to the back yard with the neighborhood kids and was happily reunited with Rue. I got the urge to take a picture of all of the neighborhood kids' barefeet. Last saturday Barry, Jacob, Duncan, and I rode the Galveston Ferry. It was the perfect time of day. The sunset was beautiful, Dolphins were surfacing, a big black ocean-going barge got so close the ferry driver had to divert from his path, and Jacob and Duncan got satisfactually wet from the big waves. I just spilled cold water all over my lap and table top. Good Grief. We have been without A/C for two days. It has been very hot. Earlier as I read through old letters and looked at old pictures, some as old as the 1800's, while listening to talk radio, it dawned on me that I was living out my life as if I was back in the day. The A/C should be back tomorrow. I am so happy Rue is back. Barry has been scraping and painting the windows. The house is starting to look good. We bought it last Friday, June 11, 2004. Our renters are moving out this month. We are considering selling that house and putting the profit into this house. Thank goodness for little a/c's in the bedrooms. Good Night...

New A/C and Nails in the Washer Machine

Yesterday Barry and I installed our new a/c in the downstairs bedroom/study. It looks so cute, all white and shiney. It is an accomplishment well-welcomed after dealing with Jack Seymour and his appliance service. The big a/c in the kitchen has been stuggling for at least a year and it has recently begun tripping the breaker. So I called Jack and he came and picked it up, cleaned it, and it is still doing it. While he had the a/c, Barry replaced the rotten boards under it. When Jack returned with the a/c, the caulk and paint were not dry, so he left the a/c on the backporch. I asked him to return to install it tomorrow b/c of Barry's health condition,and he made a snide remark about having 3 heart attacks and a couple of by-passes and he keeps going, insinuating that Barry should install it, then he insisted that I call if I want it installed. Well, I called that evening. He responded with "I don't know if I can make it out there tomorrow or not." Then he showed up at 8:00 a.m. (interupting my coffee time in my pjs). While he was here I had him look at the washer b/c it started smoking and stinking the other day. All he did was remove the clothes and found nails that Barry left in his pocket. The nails had lodged in the holes of the tub and rubbed the belt. $63.33. He is as bad as the carpenter who wanted $300 to fix the rotten boards under the a/c. Barry tackled that job himself with no problem, but the carpenter charged us $80 for two pieces of lumber and two cuts. And the cuts were incorrect and one of the pieces of wood was cracked! I am so disgusted with both him and Jack. Barry and I learned to always ask the costs b/f assuming it won't be much.

Rick and his family are coming in tonight. They will be hauling off their portion of the estate furniture. We will all attend the Griffin Reunion on Saturday. I have a feeling no one really wants to go to these things. Rebekah, have you EVER been to one? Last year was special b/c I picked Mother up at MD Anderson and took her straight there. She received a standing ovation which put a big, much needed, smile on her face. She was the star. I miss her!

Sleepless in TC

Well, here it is 12:53 a.m. sunday morning. I've been tossing and turning and thinking since 10:00 p.m. saturday night. I can't stand it when my brain won't stop thinking. So, I turn to blogger.com. Now what? I am experiencing some depression. Some doom and gloom feelings. Isolation. Uselessness. umm.. I'll double up on my herbs tomorrow, oops, today. I am looking at a poster of Clark Gable. He is sitting at a gambling table with a cigar in his mouth, and cards in his one hand and chips under the other. My mom's poster. She loved Clark Gable. She used to skip school and go to the movies and watch him on the big screen. She had a sad life. I wish I could have been her childhood friend. I like the idea of time-travel. I'd like to visit my ancestors as young people and experience the lives of those from whom I come. I feel as though I am going through a transition from young person to old person. Therefore the doom and gloom feeling, maybe. Walking on the beach yesterday was interesting. I noticed that there were more ugly people than pretty. More fat than skinny. I began to think I could get by with wearing a two-piece, then thought again. I don't necessarily like this new role of "aging person." Death is on my mind more than it has ever been. Widowhood, nursing homes, bathroom problems. Not a very bright future. Ma-moo was a widow at 55 years of age and never remarried. I may never remarry. What a sad thought that my best years are over. Jeez, I'm depressed. I might as well just go ahead and die now. Naah, I'm going to join the Lowery Center on Monday and start working out. I'm going to start feeling better physically and then I'll automatically start feeling better emotionally. yup.

Popsicle Sticks in the Rain/Sandcastles in the Sun

Barry and I just got through watching the Belmont horse races. We were so inspired, we ran out in the rain and raced our popsicle sticks. Blanco won by a longshot, orange came in a close second, and a newcomer, Spilt, came in third. Then Barry had to pee real bad, so we ran across the neighbors big yard acting like their children act when they run across our yard. It was a welcomed break from reality.

Earlier we went to Galveston and watched as many people were busy building elaborate sandcastles for a prize. There were many excellect entries, such as Homer Simpson, "Lord of the Rings," (donuts); Martha Stewart, "Extreme Makeover," (half of her face was normal and the other half beatup and smoking a cigarette); San Antonio missions,and Clifford the Big Red Dog. There were a lot of dogs out there, too. Real ones of all shapes and sizes. I got overheated and had to go to the pavillion for some shade and a hotdog. There we got to watch people attempt to ride a mechanical bull. A drunk fat woman tried her luck and began screaming before it started. I got a good laugh out of that. She reminded me of Alice Jean. She finally fell off with a thump (after it started).

We met up with Ronnie and Judy and the kids. Judy's brother was involved with Clifford's sandcastle. They looked hot. Judy found the free beer, so they both had one. Judy began dancing and acting silly. I told them she had one too many. They are still there. I hope they make it home o.k.

More later.