It Happened

Yup, Jacob graduated. I swelled with pride when at his apartment, he yelled, "Mom, sing the graduation music!" I began humming, "Duuuun, dun-dun-duun-duun duun duun dun-dun-dun duuun, etc. as he walked out of his bedroom into the living room with a big smile on his face all decked out in his graduation regalia. He looked fabulas. I'm so proud of him. The ceremony was not too long and it was pleasant enough. I sat inbetween Barry and Rachel and Rick sat on the end. Carma and Floyd sat behind us. We all yelled when the announcer announced his name. Jacob had invited family and friends over after the ceremony, but neglected to provide any refreshments, so.... Rick left early and bought a cake and balloons, and Floyd left early and bought some beer and pizza. He and Rick watched the ending of the ceremony on a local tv station. Barry and I asked Jacob who the commencment speaker was, and he said, "Some Mexican dude." We found out later it was Juan Williams, national polictical correspondent and author. Barry and I couldn't stop laughing when we opened our programs and saw Juan's picture and write-up. We kept hearing Jacob say, "some Mexican dude." We were able to hear his speech at Jake's apartment on the same channel Rick and Floyd watched the ceremony on. The speech took place 2 hours after the ceremony. Weird huh?

Later on after everyone left, Jacob drove us to Dallas to show us his new apartment and work place. It is beautiful, overlooking duck ponds and wheeping willow trees inside a large walking track. We shopped at the near-by Country Market in search of coffee. We were pleasantly surprised when we walked into another culture. A live band was playing overhead as shoppers sampled everything you can think of, cheese, coffee, wine, bread, italian ice cream etc. Jacob was on cloud nine. He is so proud of his neighborhood of business professionals.

He starts his new job January 15. He moves next wednesday. I wish him luck. I'm sure amend the new surroundings, he will experience college withdrawal.

It's Going to Happen

Yeah! Jacob is going to graduate! He passed! Barry and I are so excited. We were sweating it out. We got the good news today around 11:00 a.m. Jacob is excited too, of course. This means he gets to go to work for Sears and move into his new apartment in Dallas instead of living on the street or in prison after killing his teacher if he had failed.

In anticipation of our trip tomorrow to the graduation, we took our dogs out on the dike for a quick run on the beach. Stupid Sam jumped in the water at the boat dock. Luckily I saw him jump and disappear into the water. I ran a good 50 yards to his rescue. I was wearing my new pants, and I had to get down on my knees and even lay down to reach him. He was franticly dog-paddling while looking at me with scared eyes. I grabbed his collar and was pulling him up when he slipped out of my hands. He went under the water, but came up again. This time I managed to pull him on out of the water. Poor thang. He was coughing up water and was freezing cold, and I was covered in mud. We put him in the truck and called Rue, who was running up and down the beach, oblivious to the fact that her brother almost drown. She jumped in the back of the truck and we headed home. I gave Sammy a warm bath and dryed him with a big towel. He loved it. He later jumped in my lap and snored himself to sleep.

I start a new job on Monday at Nasa. For 2.5 months, I'll be working at the occupational control center. This is where Aerosmith, Tom Cruise, the King of Sweden, and many more famous people have toured. Hopefully I'll get to see someone important while I'm there. It's the building where the space vehicle mock-ups are. Yesterday I got to crawl in and out of all of them. I'm sore today.

My boss brought us Shipley do-nuts this morning. We all sat around the conference table and talked about the past. Big afros, platform shoes, The Mod Squad, Starsky and Hutch, etc. When it came time for me to leave, RS was sad, and RW gave me a handshake and hug and wished me luck. I wonder if I will come back? Hopefully, someone will steal me away and pay me more money. I am absolutely sure that I will be the lowest paid employee at Nasa. But I'm getting my foot in the door....

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

Peer Pressure

Earlier tonight around 11:00 p.m. he said he didn't succumb to peer pressure when I pressed him to come for Christmas. After a wonderful long conversation regarding his interview in Chicago, his offer from Sears, his future living arrangments, his graduation ceremony and party, etc., I told him I was going to Cleveland tomorrow to pick up the dinning room table and the big tv in preparation for Christmas. I told him I hoped he was coming. Silence. Hello? "I haven't thought about it." What's to think about? "I have to check my schedule." Whatever. "I don't succumb to peer pressure." I felt an empty feeling inside my chest. I dismissed it and went to bed. I was beginning to fall asleep when I heard a cat fight outside my window. I went downstairs to check on my cat; I saw him curled up in the rocking chair in the kitchen. I went back up stairs and tried to go back to sleep. Every noise became pronounced. I tossed and turned. "I don't succumb to peer pressure." Doom and gloom. All of a sudden everything on my schedule seemed as though it should be canceled. The trip to Cleveland (the table and the tv are way too heavy, and Little Ronnie is probably too sick to really help us); and my dentist appointment (I hate him). I don't feel right about Christmas dinner. I feel it is a gathering of people that really don't want to be gathered together at all. And what to get for each of them??? "I don't succumb to peer pressure." I miss mom. I feel like the whole world is on my shoulders. Ronnie came over today acting crazy about little Ronnie's vanity. Kicking a dead horse. The new driveway has imperfections. The cat prints added some character, but the hills and valleys are just results of plain stupidity. Why is it the contractors don't see what I see? Are profectionists really profectionists, or are they just observant. The chemical plants or something out there is making a strange noise. It is coming from the opposite way of the plants. Good grief. I am going to be a very lonely old woman.

Last Entry

This will be my last entry. Thank you Bekah for being faithful to read my blog and for helping me get one started. It's been fun, but I'm ready to go offline with it.
I wrote a very long journal entry the other day only for it to get "Lost." It pissed me off bad enough to quit.
Maybe Later....
SaharaRootist

Once a Mom, Always a Mom

He went to fill his tank before his girlfriend arrived. I stood by the road in front of my house in the dark watching as his motorcyle tail-light disappeared around the corner of 6th street. Brief thoughts of my youth with his dad ran through my head. How I held on tight as we drove over the causeway on his little motorcycle, scared to death as the wind taunted us.
My thoughts automatically jumed to the worst case scenario. As big rain drops sporatically hit me, I wondered if I should bury him immediately or provide the works. He is so very happy with great anticipation of the fun he will have in an hour or so at the bike rally. My words of caution did not phase him. He assured me he would be safe. His girlfriend arrived in a hissy. She thought he came into town to see her, not the bike rally. She recovered and hopped on the back of his bike and he is now complete with a biker babe to show-off. I pray they stay safe and sound tonight. I won't be sleeping until I hear that motorcyle in the driveway. Just the other day, it seems, my mom was waiting to hear the sound of her children's safe arrival. You would think, by the sound of this journal entry, that my son was a teenager. He is 23. Once a mom, always a mom.

Louisiana

I spent last weekend in Louisiana. The sugar cane was ready for harvest. Big and beautiful. I attended an 80th birthday party for a woman that B grew up next door to on the plantation, Miss Violet. I was introduced, with great respect, to "Mr. Niger," and later I heard a young boy calling his "Uncle Niger." An old neighbor to the relatives we stayed with is called "Niger Boy." By the way, all these people with the name "Niger" are white. I wonder if this phenomenon is unique to this south Louisiana territory. T.G.M., a Texas lotto winner, nephew of the birthday girl, was at the party strutting around with his short stockie (fat) self, wearing a white summer hat to match his starched white shirt. He and his wife arrived in their new Infinity for which they traded their yellow Hummer. All Put had to say was, "It ain't a pretty thing." There was a nice spread of food at the party including a homemade Jambalaya. The ladies at our table were looking forward to going to the Bonchance (a really OLD bar) after the party to go dancing with the old men. The old people were amazing in their physical abilities. Men and women in their upper 80's were dancing as if they were in their 30's.
We over-ate the whole time we were there: crawfish stew, potato salad, cake, fried shrimp po-boys, catfish, biscuits, etc. Even the Pug got bloated. He sh_t all over the yard, front and back, and drank and drank the water. Even the dog food has too much salt in it. And just like us humans he preferred their food to his own.
It's good to be home, but I miss the food already.
It looks like my chances of working at NASA are going up. I have mixed feelings about it. I'm ready to get out of T-Neg's hair, but I'm not looking forward to the drive and the hours. The money will be better. But money isn't everything.
I'm getting a blister on my lower lip. Yuk! and I burned it with a piece of fried chicken.
Later...

Biggest Swimming Pool in the World

Visited Nasa yesterday with my boss and his intern. We had lunch at the Hilton first. I witnessed some of the actual flight crew training for the next mission which will be in March or April. I learned that the tile problem has been fixed (stuff shouldn't be flying off and hitting them anymore) and room has been made in the shuttle to carry four more astronaunts if need be. Then we went on to another location miles away where the 4o ft deep and over 200 ft long pool with a mock space station inside resides. I got to see two astronaunts coming to the surface after having been under water for 6 hours. Previously we saw them on a tv screen at another location. I was disappointed in the atmosphere there since I may end up there soon. The people were rude and grumpy looking, and their work spaces were tiny/grungy cubicles. Then on the way home we got into a traffic jam. I told my boss I changed my mind about wanting to go up there (in a light-hearted way), I like my work space and my commute (1 minute), and he said, "Too late."
I'm looking forward to a long weekend. Tomorrow B and I are going to test drive a used car up the road at Monteque's station, then to the doctor to get B's knee exrayed and his bone density tested, then we will go to Cleveland for the weekend. R and J said they were coming too. I hope I remember to take the blow-up mattresses.
I made chalupas tonight and now I'm burping them.....I'm burning......
Later.....

Porpoises, Sunset, and Uncle Bunyan

We met Uncle Bunyan and Aunt Evadeane at the O Garden and enjoyed a wonderful salad with warm bread sticks before our main dish. Evadeane entertained us with her world travel stories of whale watching and polar bear watching, and Uncle Bunyan watching. He got caught in an esculator in France and took a bad fall that knocked him out for a while and broke his thumb. She watched from the top of the esculator and yelled for someone to help him. She couldn't leave her baggage unattended you know. Uncle Bunyan and I exchanged smiles across the table as she was rambling. I wanted to hug him. When I did hug him, it felt warm and comforting. He has soft skin like Mom had. We all enjoyed a wonderful sunset ride on the fairy, and the porpoises graced our presence with their darling selves. Evadeane befriended a lost soul and gave him some money; she almost cried at the realization that not everyone lives like she does. Bunyan and I had a short moment alone at the front of the fairy. Some salt water made its way into his eye and burned him a little bit. We pointed to a distant fire on Bolivar, pilot boats, Seawolf Park, the lighthouse, the other fairy......then she returned and mumbled something about not doing her own nails. She did a good job driving over there. She only ran one stop sign. We made our way back to TC and said our goodbyes. I enjoyed their visit.

Aunt Evadeane and Hitler

Uncle Bunyan and Aunt Evadeane are coming tomorrow, so I've been cleaning like I normally don't. I swept and mopped the kitchen and bathroom. They haven't been mopped in over a year. Then I got on my hands and knees and scrubbed the spots that refused to come up with the mop. I cleaned the commode and sink and shower stall. I didn't have much luck removing the dirt in the shower stall??? I used all the good stuff, such as Fantastic, Lysol, and 409. Barry even poured some bleach on it and it didn't come up. After all that cleaning, I went grocery shopping and spent a lot of money. When I got home I was so hungry I ate some vienna sausages on a mayonnaise sandwich with chips and cilantro sauce. It wasn't that good, but I enjoyed it none the less. Barry bathed Sammy yesterday and I washed his bedding. He is already smelling bad again. I bought some Frebreeze to spray on all his stuff. I also bought a vanilla candle, mmmmm.
Barry, Taunie and I went to the Holocaust museum last Friday. The Anne Frank exhibit was there. I was thoroughly depressed upon leaving. Mankind is a mystery to me. Is it really as simple as saying that Hitler was demon possessed, as some Christians say? I don't know what to think about it all. I came upon a deportation notice, eye level with me, that began "you are hereby notified to report to ........." I got chills as if I were reading it as my own notice. On a positive note, I got to read a personal letter written by Albert Einstein thanking someone for helping Jews escape the Nazis. I was surprised to note that Hitler and the Nazis bare a strong resemblance to Bro. Lee and the local church with their interest in the youth, self-identity destruction and book burnings.
Now I am drinking a beer and blogging about it all while listening to the Simpsons in the back ground.
Yesterday Barry, Ronnie, Judy, and the kids and I piled into the big mercury and headed now 146 to meet Raun at the Baytown Track when Raun called my cell phone to notify us that the races had been canceled due to bad weather. We did a U-Turn and headed back to our house. I put on chicken on the boil (Ronnie was sickly), and Judy and I went to Rust and Dust. I found a beautiful rug for the living room for $45 bucks. I bought it and I am so happy now. It's blue, green, and lavender. I put it in front of the front door area. It is probably 7x9 ish. eeeeeeee. Then I finished making chicken soup, we all ate some and they went home. Then we went to their house to look at Judy's new gazeebo her mother gave her, then we came home. Then, then then. Saw some of those mini motorcylces racing up and down the street, their riders not looking as they crossed intersections. Good grief. Then I saw a policeman looking for them. Then I didn't hear them anymore. hehe.
Later......

A Quick Update

Got a job...working close to home. I bet I already blogged that. Oh well. I am beginning to enjoy it a little bit more. The boss-man told me today that I definately have an opportunity to work on site at NASA in the near future. So thats all good. Heard a wreck today as I was leaving the office. Looked down the road and saw a brand new white cadillac and a new SUV in the mist of airbag smoke. They hit head on. I feel sorry for them. A little bit later I took Nathan to get his truck and we were blocked from getting near the wreck, and there were over 4 wreckers on the scene as well as a fire truck and an ambulance.
I've enjoyed playing with my grand-dog this past weekend while Nathan visited with friends. When I took a shower this morning, I put my towel on the toilet seat and when I went to reach for it, it was gone. She had taken it into the other room. Right now she has just finished demolishing a tennis ball and she is rag-dolling it. The house looks like a two year old has visited. She doesn't know how to land on her feet after she jumps up in the air. She lands laying down.....
Went to the doctor. I have a thyroid issue. I'm on medicine and I am already feeling better. I have high cholesterol, too, but the doctor said once the thyroid is regulated, the cholestrol will usually go down. Been eating better too. I think I'm losing weight. :)
Well, Nathan is fixin to leave, so I'll write more later. It's later. Nathan got off with Marilyn in the back of the truck, looking regal. The neighbor kids hollered, "there's the dog! Where's he going?"
Aunt Evadeane and Uncle Bunyan are coming for a visit next weekend. Time to clean the house and bathe the dog. They should come more often. NOT. Just kidding, I'm looking forward to seeing Bunyan.
Been shopping for bedskirts and shams to match the new quilt I bought over the weekend. It's been a job. Spent 5 hours on Sunday looking around. I found some at Wal-mart, the last place I wanted to go. Got em home and they were too dark, so I'm returning them tomorrow and exchanging them for different color.
Ronnie has an interview for a truck driving job tomorrow morning. I hope it goes well. I fixed him a resume tonight and he came by to pick it up. We visited for a good while, remembering old times.
I ate spaghetti twice for supper tonight. Once at 4:30 p.m. and again at 8:00. Now I'm craving something fat, like a Whataburger.
Good Night.

Just Ain't the Same

It's sad how what normally brings me such joy, such as seeing dolphins jumping out of the water while sitting on big granite boulders on the end of the dike with my husband, watching the sun go down and the ships go by while eating tamales (that we bought sporadically, upon the prompting of a Mexican, out of the trunk of his car) is clouded by the mundane and the not so mundane. I can't sleep. My chovanistic boss (mundane) is front and center in my mind right beside my thoughts of Mom (not so mundane) a year ago today (it's after 1:00 a.m.). I find that I am angry with my boss for taking up my mind-space on such an anniversary. Angry with my boss? What's wrong with me? I am feeling that doom and gloom feeling again. Darkness, my trustworthy friend.

Last Full Day of Life

One year ago today, Mom lived her last full day of life. "Come when ya can, hun," were her hast words to me spoken over the phone. I miss her so much. Death is so final. It is hard to comprehend that we all must die. I think that most of us are in denial somehow. If not, why do we get so caught up in day to day mundane goings on? If we fully understood how short of a time we have as living beings on earth, would we live differently? I think so. After thinking like this, I have almost decided to sell my rent house, pay off this house, quit my creepy new job, and travel with Barry. We don't have long to live, even if we live to a ripe old age.

My new job is located right around the corner from my house. It takes me one minute to get there; I'm off on fridays, and I work 6 or 7 hours a day. Sounds ideal, huh? Well, it only pays $10 an hour and my boss is a male chavanist. He is my trainer and I am the only one in the office besides him. It is creepy. I don't like it. But I am going to continue on until hopefully one of my applications will impress someone else.

Barry and I spent the weekend in the country. Beautiful cool crisp weather surrounded us. The smell of burning leaves was relaxing. We moved some furniture up there and some other furniture back here. I'm getting tired of moving furniture. Our bedroom in TC is looking good with new curtains and new (old) furniture.

Barry wants to buy an old 30's buick to travel in style. I told him we would have to get a vintage trailor to pull for the dogs. We could put a tiny a/c in it for them. hehe. Ideally, we would have no animals to travel with, but how do you get rid of your animals? They are family.

I am lamenting having to go to work in an hour. I wish we were rich. I saw on tv yesterday people who owned their own islands. That would be nice.

Off to eat breakfast....

On This Solid Rock I Stand

All other ground is sinking sand... all other ground is sinking sand.  The Mormans attacked me on Saturday.  I sicked them on Jacob.  As I was talking to them on the front porch, Jacob and Barry drove up with music blairing real loud, "Bloody, bloody Tuesday..."  as Jacob gave them an intimidating glare.  He was ready for them, as missionaires had visited him in Denton the day before, as well as his grandparents are Morman.  He had them smiling and sharing their gospel with pride.  I was able to finish supper. 
We are almost on a solid foundation.  Workers were under our house for 6 days digging and dragging heavy boards and cement blocks under there, in-between naps.  And of course another $1000 worth of work is needed before they can really finish leveling the house.  So, they will be back tomorrow morning. 
I showed the rent house to the renters today.  The woman has a tremendous butt, and she hit the stove with it.  She said, "Opps, I hit my butt."  I thought that was great. 
I met Jacob's girlfriend this weekend.  My first thought was that she looked like us, meaning my family.  I guess I thought that because his ex-wife didn't look anything like us.  Not that it matters.  Saturday night one of the workers from under the house came by and invited Jacob and Rachel out to play pool (he kind of remembered Jake from school).  Turns out he is a rapper and was very entertaining.  Jacob suffered a little-bit of culture shock.  He has been surrounded by college people for the past four years, so a night out with a drop-out rapper was definitely a different experience. 
Jacob enjoyed reading a short story that Dad wrote in the early sixties regarding WWII Red Cross signs and their similarity to the blood of Jesus (the Germans respected the red cross and stopped firing no matter who was under the sign, just as the death angel passed by the doors with the blood on them).  His comment, "Man, this makes me want to repent."
I haven't found a job yet, not even an interview.
We made a quick run up to the place today to take Ma-Moo's 50 year old couch up there, and to pick up a few needed things.  It was pleasent after it stopped raining and I regained my place on the freeway.  Yup, I was squeezed out of my lane and into another persons lane.  Luckily she was able to move over for me.  And yes, the couch got fricken wet.
It's good to be back home in the AC. 
We celebrated Josh's 5th BD yesterday.  There were no kids here to help celebrate, and it turned out great.  He was thrilled to receive so much Spider Man stuff.  And boy can he make the moves.  He's good. He punched the pinyata instead of hitting it with a stick, and he loved it.  He got out a lot of anxiety.  I think he'd be a good boxer.

"Marie" History

Had a good day today. I babysat Marilyn (Manson) while Nathan gad about town. He went fishing today and caught 6 little fish. Kat went with him. He went back to LaGrange around 5:30. It was nice seeing him for the short while that I did. I got a kick out of seeing him coming home from fishing wearing a fishing hat and carrying two rods (one of them was Uncle George's old rod).
Barry and I mowed and trimmed bushes and trees at the rent house. We worked very hard and I got red-faced.
Tiffany came over today. We enjoyed going through old pictures together. I gave her a family history lesson of who was who and how they were all related. We discussed how she was named after her grandma. I stressed that she should save precious things because in the future she will pull down her box of history and thoroughly enjoy going through it. She said we would probably never throw her away because she was history (her name being Marie). I laughed so hard. She is so cute. I read a love letter dated 1924 from my grandfather to my grandmother. When I started reading it out loud, "My Dearest Sweetheart," Tiffany squealed and said, "I bet he had a crush on her." I then told her that they were married and had three kids, Mom was four years old when that letter was written. Tiff's mother has a tendency to throw good things away just because she is tired of them, or they happen to be in way. I hope I got through to Tiff. I'd hate to see her mom throw away all these pictures I'll be handing over to them. I found three of those round view-master picture slides, so I took them to Tiff's house and Ron put them in Josh's toy slide projector. On a purple wall, we watched projections of Ma-moo, Rick, and Ron dated back in the 50's, taken in the driveway of the house we were in. The kids loved it, and so did Ron and I. Josh thought that was a picture of him.
Well, I am so tired, I am going to go to bed now. Tomorrow is a big day...Barry and I are going to see "Spiderman" with Tiff, Josh, and Ron. :)

Cum Laude and Meatloaf

So, what does cum laude mean? I received my diploma and noticed those two little latin words under my degree. I thought it ironic that I had to look up what it meant. I knew it meant with honors, but I didn't know what degree of honor. I guess it goes with getting lost on my way to the "honors" ceremony because of leaving the address at home (on purpose). I know how to make an "A" is what it means, nothing more. I found my grandfather's transcripts from way back when, from at least three different colleges. He was an "A" student of foreign languages. Now that deserves honor. I wonder if he felt as I do about this cum laude thing? I doubt it. He was a perfectionist according to my rebel mother. He wanted all of his children to make straight A's. Mother was a C student while her two siblings were A students. It drove him nuts. But she was so much fun! They were sticks in the mud. Well, the brother was anyway, I only know the sister through old letters I've been reading lately. She had a funny side, too, but she was proturbed with Mother for not being a good cook or cleaner. Hell, she was at the local creek having a ball! My mom. I'm glad she was easy-goin.

Our newly acquired renters called and said the person they were going to borrow the money from, for the security deposit, didn't come through, and asked if they could pay it on Monday. We told them sorry, and we rented it to the "brothers." I'm glad. These guys are Mexicans with a cool last name. Barry and I went to show the house to one of their wives and she adored it and was so happy to get it. After she left we notice fleas were all over us, so we ran to the store and bought some flea bombs and set them off.
We will be going back over there later to mow AGAIN and trim bushes.

I cooked a great supper last night: meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and collard greens.... ummmmm. I think I'll go heat some up for a snack.

A Sweet Time Gone/Falling into Place

The upstairs bedroom is lookin good. Nathan is coming in tonight with my grand-dog for the weekend. It's raining. Got lots of sheets that smell old from the bathroom closet to wash. Barry painted the bathroom white and I like it. He will start on the other bedroom today.

Got cable and I like it, too. Lots of channels to chose from without getting beat to death with commercials.

The court case was rescheduled (as usual) for August 4. Parking cost $14 because we were stupid. Everyone was stressed out and mad, but we all enjoyed a wonderful breakfast at Hollywood's downtown Houston. It was quiet and we were the only ones there. I liked it.

Sang some local church songs after finding the old supplement song book. I cried. Don't know why. Guess because it was a sweet time gone.

Applied for low-paying jobs with the local ISD. The thought of being off in the summer and taking only 5 minutes to get to work may be worth the low pay. Applied over the internet with USA (United Space Alliance) for a second time to add a USA employee's name as a referral, and after 30 minutes of filling out blanks and choosing options (you have to redo the whole frickin app. to add one frickin piece of info), I received a message that I entered the wrong employee number (when I didn't enter one because I don't know it) and it would not allow me to submit my application. It threw out all my data. Screw them. I do not want to work for a company that can't put together a user friendly web page.

Received my diploma in the mail yesterday! It is so big and beautiful. Plan to have it framed so that it doesn't look like my ancestors' diplomas I recently found, roach eaten and brown.

Rue is sleeping by my feet. She is in the house because earlier there was a thunder storm. Sammy is still oblivious to storms. He keeps that stupid look on his face consistantly.

Gotta Go.... the man is here.

Sick of Dial-up and Family

My computer is so slow; I'm sick of it.
I am not looking forward to tomorrow. I have to be a character witness in a court fight over custody of my nephew's son. I did this once before. This is the last time for me. He plans on moving in with me if he loses custody. He says he can't afford child support for two children. Now Barry and I have to tell him he is not welcome here. Stress. I hate the way he makes me feel. Or should I say, I hate the way I feel when I'm around him. He is pushy. I've been finding notes in a lot of boxes written by Mother to herself regarding him pushing her around and how she needed to be stronger willed around him. History is trying to repeat itself in this house. creepy.
Trying to rent my TC house is stressful, too. Nothing but what appear to be no-goods are calling. Today Barry and I drove to one of their homes to see if they kept the yard neat. We ended up following them to the chemical plants. We pretended to be detectives. Good Grief.
I've submitted my resume electronically three times. I received the standard "don't call us, we'll call you" reply. I've never had any trouble getting work in past, but now I am beginning to think it may not be so cut and dry anymore.
Went by Lee's house tonight. "Dumbo" from the past drove by his house while we were there. He is my age and he looked over 60! It was creepy visiting with the old winos. I feel like I took a step backwards. And it was initiated by my having had two glasses of wine beforehand.
Locked myself out of the house yesterday. All because Sammy peed on the clean carpet in the rent house. I was so mad at him I wasn't paying attention.
Rearranged the living room today. I like it better.
Filled more boxes for my siblings and put them by the front door. There they will sit for eternity. NOT! I'll get rid of them if they aren't claimed within a reasonable amount of time. Will you copy that for me? I'll pay you...... They have all been saying that. Screw that! You come get it, copy it, and bring it back! Or keep it yourself after I've copied it for myself.
Got mad at the spouse today for not wanting to paint the bathroom two colors. My whole house is going to be white. Fine. If I want it any other color, I'll have to do it myself. Right now I don't have time or energy to do it, but maybe later. I got jealous of the couple at Lowe's picking out a "color" of paint together. I guess I should be happy he is painting at all; and I am.
I'm sick of sleeping on a mattress on the floor, too.
I'm spoiled.

I Can Breathe Again, Kinda

I'm back in good ole TC. The house is such an improvement over the country house as far as mold goes. Good A/C and high ceilings. We both slept good last night. But, upon arrival yesterday, the chemical plants were letting some chemical out into the air and it smelled bad. I put my shirt up over my nose as I was unloading the truck. I should probably move out of this city.

Our renter came by last night to let us know he was out of the house now. We enjoyed visiting with him for about an hour. Then we went to check out the house. We were very impressed with the house condition, luckily, since we gave him his deposit back without looking at the house first. (He is a family friend). The neighbors are interested in their relatives renting it. But they told my renter that they would come pick up some furniture they wanted over a week ago, and they haven't picked it up yet. Now it's on the front porch waiting for them to come pick it up. I think that shows bad character and now I am reluctant to rent to their relatives.

I plan to finish rummaging through the upstairs bedroom today so that Barry can start painting that room. Then on to the next room. Then on to searching for a job. I want to be settled into a bedroom before I begin work. I don't want to be searching for my clothes in three different rooms and sleeping in different rooms as well while working.

One more cup of coffee and I'm off and running...

Black Panther of Death

All that talk of death yesterday culminated in my dreams last night. As I was walking among wild animals, such as black bears with brown noses, a black panther leaped at me and began sniffing my neck. Then the panther bit my neck, and I began to die.

There is a benefit today for a lead guitar player of a local blues band. It is located at the Good Times Marina in Houston. It is about an hour away from here. Good bands are going to be there. I think I want to go. But then again, I think I don't.

It's raining.

I'm washing all the sheets and pillow cases right now. They smell like mold. Mold is growing on everything. That may have something to do with my mood. My moldy mood is conducive to the blues. I should go to the benefit. Boogie Woogie piano playing makes me smile. "Queen of the 88s" is a good boogie woogie song.

The dryer is calling...

Just Yesterday

Just yesterday I was pregnant. Two summers in a row. Now, twenty-four years later, I sit alone. I wonder sometimes if I would feel more alone if my spouse died. I am now the next in line to die. We all have to do it. I'm next. Found a poem written by Mom in the 80's, "Entering age is like leaving a party and coming home to an empty abode." That could be a good thing, but I read it as a sad thing. Just yesterday, Ma-Moo won a singer sewing machine at Almeda Mall. Now she is dead. Just yesterday Mom enjoyed a song. Now she is dead. Today I'm blogging, tomorrow I'm gone? My oh my, why do we have to die? What will my legacy be? Fishsticks? Why is a legacy important? Will my decendents care a thing about me when I'm gone? Will my great great grandchildren wonder about me and what kind of a life I led? What will they find in their search? My blogs. Hello little ones. I wish I was with you now, enjoying being alive, full of wisdom. It's true, an idle mind is the devil's playground. I'm up at the place in the country with an idle mind, and see what I'm thinking about... Without some lesson to prepare for, my mind is straying to the side of doom and gloom. Earlier I read two essays I wrote regarding Middle Eastern History. I was impressed with myself. I plan on re-reading the many papers and notes that I wrote over the past four years in an attempt to remember what I learned. I am thankful that I went to college and earned a degree. I wish I would have earned a money making degree instead of a humanities degree. Only because now I have to re-enter the working world as an educated 'Clerk.' Well, I hear the spouse in the kitchen. I'll close now.

Rain Rain and Yesterday

It's been raining for two days. A pond is now under the house. Rue is in the house. She trys to jump on me everytime it thunders. I threw her off of me and she landed half-way on the other chair. She is big, too. My arm is sore. I showed her some safe places to hide, like under the bed and under the stairs, but she is currently lying beside me. The weather has calmed down a bit. She slept with me last night and shook the whole bed with her nerves. I tried calming her like I would a baby, rocking and rhythmic humming, but I began to feel silly. I led her to under the bed and she gladly went. I was then able to go to sleep. She is my dog....

Yesterday I started working in the upstairs bedroom. I found a bag of old baby clothes from when my oldest brother was a baby. I recognize the clothes from the pictures I've been looking at. It was a sweet experience touching and folding them. I imagined Mother folding them when they were new. And her excitement over her mother having made some of them. I also began taking Mom's clothes out of the closet and folding them in preparation to give them away. I found kleenex and hard candies in the pockets of her blazers. Of course I got sad again. A bitter-sweet sadness. I also found some old dresses of Ma-Moo's (my grandmother). I couldn't bring myself to get rid of them. I also saved Mom's poke-a-dot dresses, since that is the essence of her. I found some pictures of Dad that I don't remember seeing before. This cleaning out the house is a most precious job. I'm glad to have this opportunity. Last night Ronnie refused to take the latest box I collected for him. He said, "Not anh, I'm workin!" (delivering pizza). I told him I'd bring it to him later. All he had to do was put it in his frickin car. Good Grief. He goes into depression when he reads old letters.

Tuesday Barry, Taunie, and I went to UHCL to hear a presentation on the Battle of the Bay, The Civil War in Galveston. It was very interesting and comical. A comedy of errors led to a confederate victory. Barry and I then went to the Top Water Grill in San Leon for a shrimp dinner. The shrimp was delicious, but the water tasted like chlorine and the cole slaw tasted sour. Barry didn't notice.

O Happy Day

Nathan received a refund from the Judge as well as managed to get the ticket dismissed. We went to the mall today and bought Nathan a new pair of workboots. Marilyn ate my dogs' heartworm medicine. I called the vet, and she will be fine, but we're out of $20 worth of medicine. Then later she found a roach bait thingy and began chewing on it. She keeps me hopping, but I just love her to death. She is so cute. I will miss her when they leave tonight. Nathan is currently taking a nap upstairs. Barry is scrapping and painting the front door. He is in a bad mood for some reason. Thank goodness for dogs. Jacob is discovering that not all girls hate boys. The spaghetti is done.....

My Grand-dog, Marilyn

Since none of mine nor Barry's children seem to be interested in having children, my son's new pit-bull puppy is my substitute grandchild. Nathan is working nearby in LaGrange, Tx, so he comes to visit on the weekends, leaves the grand-dog with me, and heads to houston to party with friends. Her name is Marilyn because she is so beautiful. Solid white with blue eyes. She is currently under my chair chewing on a chew-thing I bought for her. She is ripping it to shreads. (Marilyn-Manson!) It's not like Nathan can't find enough trouble without owning a vicious dog. But she is so cute! I love her even though she bites me. Now she is laying on my bed barking at me and wagging her tail. Now Sammy has begun barking, too. I feel like a young mother with a new toddler, that bites. She almost caused Nathan to get shot by a highway patrolman today. yup, Nathan got pulled over and searched. Marilyn jumped out of the truck when the officer opened the door. He instinctively turned his back on Nathan to catch Marilyn. He then realized his error and put his hand on his gun as he turned around to face Nathan. Nathan immediately put his hands in the air and yelled, "I'm not going to do nothin!!!!!" She is now sleeping on my bed. awwwwwwwww. She looks to sweet and cute! Just like demon children look with they sleep.
Duncan left today. His mama cut short the democratic convention in houston. He was sad to leave, but I could tell he was happy to learn that she was coming today. The poor boy has symptons of OC disorder. I mentioned that to his mother almost a year ago. She immediately felt guilty for not noticing. This time I told his dad and he was very aware of the problem. He said the mom is in denial. I hope they get help for him. He won't be able to function much longer in society if he doesn't get the symptons under control. I became obsessive watching him. When I read up on the problem, I saw symptoms in myself and my husband. He collects stupid things like ice-cream buckets (too many of them), and I have recently enjoyed scratching my scalp of scabs. Poor kid doesn't have a chance.
I'm enjoying my new house. I am preparing for the arrival of seven guests tomorrow. Barry's nephew and niece plus their families, plus Nathan and Barry and me, makes 10 people in this house. My brother said the commode with stop up. I bought a badmitton set tonight in hopes of the children playing outside. Florence is planning on making a home-made lasagna tomorrow for supper.
Well, I guess I've blogged enough for now...

Camp Riff-Raff

Duncan is visiting this week. So far we saw a rat at the pond and a skunk in a neighbors yard. A thunderstorm scared Rue so bad that she got out of the backyard. She was missing for two days. We went to the pound to see if she got arrested (she and Nathan, wad I gonna do?), but she was not there; and they had not picked up any dead dogs since she became missing. We looked all over town for her. This morning Andrew, our 6 year-old neighbor consistantly banged on the front door as he was frantically yelling, "We found Roof, we found Roof, she's in your backyard!" So I joyously ran to the back yard with the neighborhood kids and was happily reunited with Rue. I got the urge to take a picture of all of the neighborhood kids' barefeet. Last saturday Barry, Jacob, Duncan, and I rode the Galveston Ferry. It was the perfect time of day. The sunset was beautiful, Dolphins were surfacing, a big black ocean-going barge got so close the ferry driver had to divert from his path, and Jacob and Duncan got satisfactually wet from the big waves. I just spilled cold water all over my lap and table top. Good Grief. We have been without A/C for two days. It has been very hot. Earlier as I read through old letters and looked at old pictures, some as old as the 1800's, while listening to talk radio, it dawned on me that I was living out my life as if I was back in the day. The A/C should be back tomorrow. I am so happy Rue is back. Barry has been scraping and painting the windows. The house is starting to look good. We bought it last Friday, June 11, 2004. Our renters are moving out this month. We are considering selling that house and putting the profit into this house. Thank goodness for little a/c's in the bedrooms. Good Night...

New A/C and Nails in the Washer Machine

Yesterday Barry and I installed our new a/c in the downstairs bedroom/study. It looks so cute, all white and shiney. It is an accomplishment well-welcomed after dealing with Jack Seymour and his appliance service. The big a/c in the kitchen has been stuggling for at least a year and it has recently begun tripping the breaker. So I called Jack and he came and picked it up, cleaned it, and it is still doing it. While he had the a/c, Barry replaced the rotten boards under it. When Jack returned with the a/c, the caulk and paint were not dry, so he left the a/c on the backporch. I asked him to return to install it tomorrow b/c of Barry's health condition,and he made a snide remark about having 3 heart attacks and a couple of by-passes and he keeps going, insinuating that Barry should install it, then he insisted that I call if I want it installed. Well, I called that evening. He responded with "I don't know if I can make it out there tomorrow or not." Then he showed up at 8:00 a.m. (interupting my coffee time in my pjs). While he was here I had him look at the washer b/c it started smoking and stinking the other day. All he did was remove the clothes and found nails that Barry left in his pocket. The nails had lodged in the holes of the tub and rubbed the belt. $63.33. He is as bad as the carpenter who wanted $300 to fix the rotten boards under the a/c. Barry tackled that job himself with no problem, but the carpenter charged us $80 for two pieces of lumber and two cuts. And the cuts were incorrect and one of the pieces of wood was cracked! I am so disgusted with both him and Jack. Barry and I learned to always ask the costs b/f assuming it won't be much.

Rick and his family are coming in tonight. They will be hauling off their portion of the estate furniture. We will all attend the Griffin Reunion on Saturday. I have a feeling no one really wants to go to these things. Rebekah, have you EVER been to one? Last year was special b/c I picked Mother up at MD Anderson and took her straight there. She received a standing ovation which put a big, much needed, smile on her face. She was the star. I miss her!

Sleepless in TC

Well, here it is 12:53 a.m. sunday morning. I've been tossing and turning and thinking since 10:00 p.m. saturday night. I can't stand it when my brain won't stop thinking. So, I turn to blogger.com. Now what? I am experiencing some depression. Some doom and gloom feelings. Isolation. Uselessness. umm.. I'll double up on my herbs tomorrow, oops, today. I am looking at a poster of Clark Gable. He is sitting at a gambling table with a cigar in his mouth, and cards in his one hand and chips under the other. My mom's poster. She loved Clark Gable. She used to skip school and go to the movies and watch him on the big screen. She had a sad life. I wish I could have been her childhood friend. I like the idea of time-travel. I'd like to visit my ancestors as young people and experience the lives of those from whom I come. I feel as though I am going through a transition from young person to old person. Therefore the doom and gloom feeling, maybe. Walking on the beach yesterday was interesting. I noticed that there were more ugly people than pretty. More fat than skinny. I began to think I could get by with wearing a two-piece, then thought again. I don't necessarily like this new role of "aging person." Death is on my mind more than it has ever been. Widowhood, nursing homes, bathroom problems. Not a very bright future. Ma-moo was a widow at 55 years of age and never remarried. I may never remarry. What a sad thought that my best years are over. Jeez, I'm depressed. I might as well just go ahead and die now. Naah, I'm going to join the Lowery Center on Monday and start working out. I'm going to start feeling better physically and then I'll automatically start feeling better emotionally. yup.

Popsicle Sticks in the Rain/Sandcastles in the Sun

Barry and I just got through watching the Belmont horse races. We were so inspired, we ran out in the rain and raced our popsicle sticks. Blanco won by a longshot, orange came in a close second, and a newcomer, Spilt, came in third. Then Barry had to pee real bad, so we ran across the neighbors big yard acting like their children act when they run across our yard. It was a welcomed break from reality.

Earlier we went to Galveston and watched as many people were busy building elaborate sandcastles for a prize. There were many excellect entries, such as Homer Simpson, "Lord of the Rings," (donuts); Martha Stewart, "Extreme Makeover," (half of her face was normal and the other half beatup and smoking a cigarette); San Antonio missions,and Clifford the Big Red Dog. There were a lot of dogs out there, too. Real ones of all shapes and sizes. I got overheated and had to go to the pavillion for some shade and a hotdog. There we got to watch people attempt to ride a mechanical bull. A drunk fat woman tried her luck and began screaming before it started. I got a good laugh out of that. She reminded me of Alice Jean. She finally fell off with a thump (after it started).

We met up with Ronnie and Judy and the kids. Judy's brother was involved with Clifford's sandcastle. They looked hot. Judy found the free beer, so they both had one. Judy began dancing and acting silly. I told them she had one too many. They are still there. I hope they make it home o.k.

More later.

Pink Flamigo

One last post for May. TC has a tourist attraction on the dike. Named Pinkie, this pink flamigo arrived around May 15 from the Yucatan. Hundreds of people from all over the US are coming to view it. An area on the north side of the dike is taped off and binoculars are set up for viewing and a book is layed out for visitors to sign. Nathan and Kat waded out on the island and took some pictures of it. It is SO cute. Nothing bothers it. It remains in this same spot regardless of the fishermen and pelicans. Barry and I have made three trips to see it so far.

We had a BBQ yesterday. My friend Taunie came. We took her out to see the pink flamigo. She enjoyed visiting with others viewing the bird. The children enjoyed looking through the binoculars.

Our renters, Charles and Dana, are moving out in 30 days. They say the neighborhood is "uncomfortable." A cop on one side and a gang on the other... I don't blame them. We need to make a decision as to whether or not to sell it or rent it again.

Later....

Bon Fire

Last night, on the end of the T.C. dike, the VFW put on a spectacular bon fire. Barry and I enjoyed being a part of it. We each burned a flag in memory of my dad and his uncle who were both in WWII. There were over one thousand flags burned. After they were all ceremonially put into the fire, two huge flags were draped around the base of the 20 foot high pile of pallets and set afire. The heat from the fire caused the crowd to back up many times. It lit up the night sky as if it were day. A wall of sandbags held six military flags, one of which was the POW MIA flag that flew over the fire pit where the flags were burned. Ronnie, Judy, and the kids joined us. We all sat on a log together until the heat forced us to back up. I stood behind Barry and Tiffany stood behind me to escape the heat. The crowd consisted of mixed ages and races. Lots of children running wild, and old people stumpling around the uneven ground. Music was remenicent of war. "I gave my purple heart to a prostitute," right along side, "By and By Lord." Wind continuously wiped our hair into our faces so that we left after the 20 foot pile of pallets was reduced to approximately 10 to 15 feet.

Nathan and Kat came home later on and rode out there to see it, and over an hour later the fire was still burning brightly.

Nathan Arrested AGAIN

Well, here it is Memorial weekend. I was just commenting, with a smile, to Barry how yesterday and today were perfect days; and just as I finished saying that, I immediately imagined Tiff and Josh drowning in a rip tide in Galveston. Not that that would top off my day, but it's like as soon as I acknowledge something as being good, something bad has to happen. I was happy to learn that Ronnie and the kids made it back safe from Galveston and that they were all coming over to cook baked beans at our house. Later, we were all enjoying eating together, listening to the blues, laughing about this and that when the phone rang. It was Kat. Nathan was arrested. He and Bobby went mudding and got pulled over on their way home for no inspection sticker. Of course Nathan had a warrant out for his arrest for non-payment of an old ticket that he forgot all about. I was looking forward to him being at the Bar-B-Que tomorrow. I asked if anyone had $300 cash to get him out. No. An hour goes by. I'm down; the phone rings again. It's him. Mother/Son conversation: How could you let this happen AGAIN! I don't remember getting that ticket! I'm sorry. I'm sad. Will you call Bobby and ask him to bail me out, and tell him I'll pay him back next friday? O.K.

Dimming Lights, Fat Attorney, Burned House, Funny Old Woman

Yesterday I called an electrician, Master Electric, to check on our electrical system. He rewired the breaker box which stopped the dimming, but he pointed out that the breaker to the new washer/dryer was not a breaker at all, it was only a switch. He suggested we call them and demand that they replace it immediately without charge. We did, and they did. Within an hour after the call was made, the problem was fixed. It was sparking each time the dryer was turned on. Barry and I got nervous about a possible fire. Not only would we lose the house, but we might even lose our lives. We feel better now, although the house is still not insured. We are waiting to hear from Ricky before we can get things moving.
Barry and I went to visit a realestate lawyer on 6th and 6th in Texas City. His office smelled like mold and was furnished with old furniture. There was a hole in the wall where one of the attorneys lost his temper and kicked it. He was a big guy by the name of Placamire (sp?). I liked his demeanor. I hope Rick consents to using him to create the needed forms and deeds so that Ronnie can finally own his home and Barry and I can the process moving so that we can own this house.
A neighbors house on 11th avenue caught on fire last week and went up in flames fast. A toaster was the culpret. It was sad seeing an old historic house destroyed.
I've been noticing an old woman routinely walking around the block lately. I had a suspicion that it was Ida Morton Ross, the insurance lady whose husband used to be partners with my Aunt Pearl McGar. So, last night as she walked by, I ran out to greet her. I was right. It is Ida Morton Ross, also the grandmother to two of my childhood girlfriends, Meade and Carol Ann Rinker. It was in their house where I first ate a honey bun. I had never eaten anything so wonderful. It was also at their house where I first witnessed a hot sandwich being made in a contraption that smashed it and cut off the crust and heated it over the stove. Anyway, Ida Ross is a delightful woman. She made us laugh a few times with her limricks and stories of the past and present. We said our goodbyes and watched her walk on down the street assisted by two walking canes, "If you don't use it, you lose it." She told me my friend Meade is living in San Antonio working as a property manager along with her husband, and Carol Ann lives in South Houston working at an animal boarding business. Sadly, her 19 year old daughter just committed suicide.
I have a finance final at 1:00, so I better go study.....

Evita

The new Argentina, the voice of the people...to a strip tease beat... pretty good. I can see why Madonna wanted to do the part. I haven't seen the movie, but I'm currently listening to the music of Evita. Along with Evita, I'm listening to Phantom of the Opera, and Jesus Christ Superstar. I think I'm beginning to feel pumped. Maybe it's the coffee, but singing at the top of my lungs out the back door, words of wisdom, is pumping. The neighbors are getting an education. My friend gave me three CD's featuring Andrew Lloyd Weber's work. Barry is miserable.

Last night we watched two independent film makers' films. They were both very good. One made me re-think what the purpose of life is, is life an end in itself or a means to an end? I wonder sometimes if it is an end in itself. The other one was depressing. It was about "The Weather Men," underground radical progressives in the late 60's and 70's who set off bombs in reponse to U.S. actions such as war in Vietnam and the killing of Black Panther members. It was over at midnight and I couldn't go to sleep right away. I felt doom and gloom, and I still do. Maybe it's because I just turned off the music and I'm now listening to the BBC news. Gloomy.... hundreds of machette welding teenagers in southern Thailand gunned down by the government. I'm going to listen to this.

FriedaBiscus

The Hybiscus is blooming beautiful bright orange flowers today. It brings me such joy to look out the window and see them and also to drive into the driveway and see them from the street. I will always think of Mother when I look at that bush for three reasons. One, when she was temporarily in Gulf Care Nursing Home one year ago, we were visiting outside near a hybiscus, and we couldn't remember the name of the bush. We finally remembered and proceeded to come up with a way to always remember...We pretended to be greeting the bush by saying, "HI Biscus!" Two, we were waiting outside of the radiation therapy room at MD Anderson when a volunteer offered Mom a free bag to hold her "stuff" in. Mom carefully examined all of the bags and picked the brightest orange one because of its durability. Three, she loved beauty and color. I miss her so much. The bush was given to the family at the time of her death by my friends at NOVA Chemical. I named it FriedaBiscus.

The Place Where They Grow Wine

Tonight Ronnie's family and Barry and I went to the "winery" in Santa Fe. I taste tested four wines and bought one $4.00 glass of white sweet wine. Everyone sipped a bit and made faces. We listened to a speaker from Johnson Space Center, then we took the tour. Afterwards, we joined the Star Party and looked at Jupiter, Saturn, and the Orion Nebula before they were covered by clouds. Tiffany, Josh and I walked through the vineyard and Tiff pointed out the little bitty grapes to me. I couldn't find them on my own . . . . . . just kill me now.

Phi Kappa Phi

Friday night, after first arriving at the wrong country club, then through panic stickened turns of right and left accompanied by explitives sounding out why would an honor student leave the address and directions at home, we found the correct country club where Barry and I attended the induction ceremony of the Phi Kappa Phi Honor Society. We dined amoung many well-educated and interesting people. I felt like a fish out of water with chipped teeth and straight bodyless hair. A delicious meal of chicken, lasagna, fresh vegtables, rolls, salad, carrot cake and coffee was served buffet style. In trying to keep the conversation flowing, I asked the people at our table if they had ever visited the place in Santa Fe where they grow wine. Some honor student, huh? An inspiring speech was given by Shelly (used to be Rodriquez (her deceased husband was a news personality), but I've forgotten her new last name, and I absent-mindedly left my program there upon leaving). I was presented with a large white envelope upon having my name read aloud, walking a mile to the president, and shaking his hand. There were many others being honored as well. We all felt very honored, go figure. In the envelope was my certificate and my honor cord to be worn over my graduation gown. On the drive home, Barry and I enjoyed discussing Shelly's speech and marveled at her speaking abilities and all the things she is accomplishing as a newly elected Houston City Council member as well as a medical doctor. Needless to say, I didn't feel like I belonged. I don't belong anywhere.

Henry Elmore Peters, My Grandpa

Barry and I went to the memorial service on April 16 in memory of the Texas City Explosion that happened fifty-seven years ago in 1947. Over 600 people died that day including the entire fire department. As a memorial to the firefighters, Chief Gerald Grimm of the Texas City Fire Department read each of their names followed by the ringing of a bell. The speaker was Mrs. Ernestine Moreno, a survivor. After listening to her sad story, I wondered if she had known my grandfather whom I never had the privledge of meeting. He used to preach at the Spanish Mission near her home. So when the ceremony was over, I asked her if she knew him. She immediately smiled and began telling me how much she adored him. He taught her spanish in high school. She said he spoke beautiful spanish. He asked her why she was not taking notes and she told him because he was blocking the words with his body. So he started writing with his other hand so she could see the board. When she finished talking about him, she gave me a big unexpected hug and reiterated how much my grandpa meant to her. I wanted to grab all the other old people there and ask them all if they remembered Grandpa Peters. When I got home, I looked at myself in the upstairs mirror and noticed I was wearing Mom's shirt. I wanted to tell her all about my experience at the memorial service, and how I found yet another person who loved her father. I began to weep at the realization of my loss.

Personality Fault

Poor self esteem. I do not feel comfortable "selling" myself to potential employers. I have very negative feelings towards this game. Whoever sells the best, wins the prize. In my unhealthy thought processes, it will most likely not be the best canidate who wins. I believe the best candidate is sometimes the worst "seller" of himself and vice versa. I now understand why my father, with an above average IQ, was a truck driver. I suppose whatever was wrong with him was instilled in me, not that I am of above IQ, but truck driving sounds appealing to me. Big Sigh.......

The Hot Biscuit, Rep. Nick Lampson, and Wal-Mart

All in one day. Looking like crap, no make-up, hair in pony-tail, holely blue jean shorts, tacky green t-shirt, white, white legs, and dirty tennis shoes with no socks, who do I see and talk with at the Hot Biscuit? Representative Nick Lampson! There he was looking all shiny and sparkely in his pressed dockers and dress shirt. I thought he was someone from Huntsman Chemical, but Barry recognized him for who he was and reminded him of our time together at a Habitat for Humanity appreciation dinner. I took what I thought to be not much of a chance of running into someone I know since we are in the country; I knew I'd fit in with all the other country bumkins around here, and I did, except for him. Who would of figured? Anyway, it nice to see him and his smile. And thanks to Barry's old business flare of smiling and shaking hands we rekindled a memory.

After eating a wonderful breakfast, we drove by where the Wal-Mart Protestors were picketing to cheer them on. They gave us an informational hand-out regarding the outsourcing of jobs. One of the signs read, "Sam Walton said No to China." We wished them well and drove off in our "Toyota."

On the Road Again...

Here I am in the country again. It always feels so good to travel here and to be here, even though it smells like mold. B is sleeping in his recliner, Sammy is eating, and Rue is sleeping under the house. I don't know where or what the cat is doing, sneaky thang. Oh, I just heard Sammy's little feet getting scatch on the kitchen floor, the cat is in the kitchen. :) We ate What-a-bugers on the way here, and they were SO good. It is always hit and miss with them. We saw some new skid marks on the dangerous road to our place as well as some new ruts on the side of the road. We ran off a few times ourselves while we were trying to eat, drink, and drive.

We are thinking about going to Louisiana for Put's crawfish boil instead of having one of our own. I hope my boys come...

We received some distressing news on our answering machine when we got here. B's brother-in-law's brother commited suicide. The message was old. We believe it must have happen on Monday or before. No one called us at the Texas City number. No one is home at there place today.

Fishsticks, My Legacy

Low and behold my little nephew, Duncan, asked me is I gave up fishsticks for lent. I laughed so hard. I had no idea that my love for fishsticks was that well known. It was bad enough when Bekah, Jacob, and Nathan enjoyed a shared moment of laughter over my feeding them fishsticks as children, but Duncan? I'm not even Catholic, and neither is he. That's the kind of thing, right out of the blue, that life is all about. The next day Barry brought home a box of cheap fishsticks and we went to town on em.

Yesterday a gloomy feeling came over me after class. My teacher handed me my mid-term exam and said I did nauseatingly well as usual. ummm. Why don't I feel like "A" material?" My friend was in a yucky mood and left before I got my test back (we usually walk to our cars together). We had just seen the movie, "House of the Spirits," in which were some abuse scenes that made her very uncomfortable. On my drive home I began wondering why I felt gloomy. Other than feeling unworthy of "A" status, I suppose it had something to do with wondering about my strange friend's mysterious past. I gather from her words and actions that she must have been abused in her past. I wonder what it would be like to have a normal friend. I don't mind abby normal friends, but just wondering. I'm sure my friends wonder the same.

I am now a member of Phi Kappa Phi. I never thought I would be a member of an honor society. It's too bad that my degree is not marketable. I am looking forward to reentering the working world, but I am a bit nervous. Not only because I am 40 something, but because I have lost my marketable skills. I feel stupid now that I have a BA in Humanities, but can't operate the current software programs used by businesses. I feel like I need to go back to school! Isn't that ironic; don't cha think; it's like raeeeain on your wedding day; it's like finding ten thousand spoons, when all you need is a knife (Alanis).

An Active Volcano

bp Amoco exploded last night. Wow was it exciting! Ronnie called and said, "Turn on channel 16, Dow Chemical just blew up!" He was driving by when it happened. Then seconds later the emergency sirens sounded for a long time and REAL loud. Channel sixteen said to shelter in place and wait for further instructions. Friends began calling to check on us when they saw the big fire on the news. Helicopters were flying overhead. I wasn't concerned, but excited. Then last night I dreamed we were considering buying a house in a European country right next to an active volcano. While we were looking at it, chunks of partially cooled lava were flying at us and hitting the house. We were dodging them as they were flying everywhere. I yelled, "I don't want to buy a house by an active volcano!" Go figure, all this happened on the day that I resolved to buy this house, again.

Barry replanted the "FriedaBiscus" the other day. I am so happy about that. It is such a beautiful bush. It was given to us by Maureen and Toni from Nova Chemicals when Mother died. It blooms beautiful orange blossoms. I know without a doubt that Mother would have been so pleased with it.

Mrs. Parnell, my ederly neighbor across the alley, just pulled in her driveway. She looks just like Mom from a distance, with her thin, stringy hair, and her body movements. She is swaying back and forth as she walks to her back door. Her daughter was in the same hospital as Mom at the same time, and she, too, died. But she was only in her early 40's. I visited with her one day. She was full of life that day as she was receiving her first dose of chemo.

The weather has been absolutely gorgeous the past few days. Barry, Judy, and I participated in "Trash Bash" day by picking up trash on the TC Dike. It was fun being with people and getting sunburned.

Well, I will now get back to reading about the Caribbean...

amores perros

"Love's a Bitch" Went to see this movie last night for a school assignment. Enjoyed it. Reminded me of a Mexican Pulp Fiction, but better and more real. Very violent, but tolerable (for me anyway). My friend left after the first five minutes, I'm so glad we came in separate cars. And it was nice that my husband went with me. I think he liked it, too. Never a boring moment in this film. All the characters did a great job of acting, and it was a bonus not knowing them as super stars. It consisted of three separate storys that come together in a car crash. Each story represents the struggle of love within different age and socio-economic groups. Young, middle-aged, and senior, rich and poor all struggle with love. As one commentator put it, "thoughout it, so well crafted, one can mentally fuse all three stories together and see one single character going through the process of fighting for love, realizing what a trivial pursuit it is, abandoning it, and then spending the rest of his life trying to touch it from behind the bars of self-guilt." If you don't have a problem with watching reality through subtitles, this is a must see, and the music was good, too.

An African Lunch

I'm looking forward to having lunch with an 80 something year old African woman friend of mine, Beatrice. I will be interviewing her for a human geography project. She is from Ghana and lived there most of her life. I am going to pick her up at 11:00 and take her to her doctor's appointment and then to Luby's in Galveston. She usually relies on public transportation. I saw her sitting in front of Walgreens one time waiting on her ride. Hours later I saw her still waiting... that's why I offered to take her to her doctor's appointment. She is a joy; always has a smile on.

I made the decision to buy this frickin house yesterday and last night Barry and I both got headaches. I had trouble breathing and so did my dog, Sammy. I thought it might be the chemicals, the newspaper ink, or perhaps the stress of the decision. But what about Sammy? Maybe he can feel our stress. :) The news reported that we are under a terror alert. In my dreams last night, two people told me to move to Eagle Mountain. ? Now I'm confused AGAIN. Reading in my dad's journal last night, I learned of a friend of his that died of lung cancer. Probably gained from these chemical plants.

Barry and I went to city hall yesterday and spoke with Doug Hoover, the economic planner. His sister is the mother of Lee Hancock, local boy who made it big in Hollywood. He wrote a story that Kevin Cosner stared in and Clint Eastwood directed (A Different World??), and now he has directed the movie, "The Alamo." We were curious about the upcoming MegaPort in TC and Doug answered a lot of our questions. It will be five years before we see any containers along the dike. Then the mayor's secretary inundated us with gifts from the city: a neat cooler, history book, an invitation to a dinner party, pamphlets, etc. She wants us to move here. We will try to make the next commissioners meeting in early April. Dad would be proud. In his journal he notes that he and his family were not contributing to the city and that they needed to cultivate a social life outside of the family. It felt good intermingling with city personnel. We also went to the administration building where our family stayed during hurricane Carla, 1963, so Barry could pick up a listing of tax delinquent repo properties.

Ronnie dropped by last night inbetween runs to give us the local newspaper. It was full of the terror alert information, and Doug Hoover was on the front page. I bet he thought that's why we were in his office, and we didn't even know about it. He wasn't a very hospitable person.

Well, off to blow dry my stringy hair and prepare for my date.

The Passion

Well, Marilyn Manson sure did a good job as Satan, and Steven King as teleplaywriter. Just kidding. Overall, I feel as Andy Rooney did, I'm glad it was only two dollars in stead of $9 where he lives. It was worth $2 to be able to discuss it with friends. I couldn't help thinking of Marilyn Manson everytime Satan appeared, and the black crow picking the eye of the criminal on the cross was definently Stephen King style. I yelled, "Shit!" when a monster jumped out of a bush at Judas! Who would of figured? Stephen King? Jesus could not have lived through that beating in my opinion much less carried that big cross up hill. Simon had a hard time carrying that cross as a healthy man. And why doesn't Jesus answer anyone when they ask him questions? He just stands there silent. Good Grief. I guess that is where Bro. Lee gets it. Showing Mary's heart breaking was the most moving part for me - when she saw Jesus falling down with the cross, enter a flashback of 3-year-old Jesus falling down and his mother running to his aid--then again in real time. I also appreciate Mel protraying Jesus with a sense of humor by showing him splashing water on his mother during a happier time. They could have paid more attention to Jesus' right eye that would be swollen in one scene and not in the next. Mary Magdelin was a beautiful ho. I didn't care for the ending. I wonder where all Jesus' other scars from that horrific beating went, and why only the feet and hands remain scared? I hear from my cousin in Jordan that this film is playing at the Mecca Mall in Saudi Arabia! Is that ironic or not?

It's Tight Like Dat

Listening to blues from the 20's... Viva la bomba....Rue is rolling on her back in the grass. Day after tomorrow is the first day of spring and my brother's birthday. I will make a cake and present a presant, and then we will all go to the dike for a day of fun in the sun. Been studying Latin American history, so I am drinking a Corona. Still don't know my place in the world, but the more I drink the more I don't care. Not really. I care. Old music is so much better than new music. Mother visited me in my dream last night and asked me if I had been drinking. I said, "yes." Then I saw my two sons at ages 2 and 3 popping tops and taking swiggs of beer. Well, back to analyzing the conditions that tend to benefit workers and those that disadvantage them... My beer tastes like a rustry top.

Daddy's Journal/A Place in the World

Read some of Dad's jounrnal last night dated 1981. He makes nice comments about my new-born son. It became apparent to me that he worked very hard to keep us fed. Waking up in the middle of the night, early in the morning, late at night, in all types of weather, including freezing cold weather, with failing vision and aching body, he would deliver much needed parts to the area chemical plants. He made reference to wishing we didn't have to eat. He also mentioned that all his friends were dead. I dreamed about him last night. He was a little bit off (in my dream), like the baby squirrel my husband and I found the other day who had fallen out of the tree. In my dream, Dad and two other old men were belly crawling on the side of a road. Dad was using a medium size knife to help pull himself along. When he did walk, he walked like Frank Hill's dad on King of the Hill. I thought he was my dad, but I wasn't sure.

I am in the process of writing a paper anazlying the tensions in a movie entitled, "A Place in the World." I am doing a lot of thinking about where MY place is in the world. I am afraid it is right here. But if I am afraid, then how can it be my place? I wonder if I have a place in this world. I believe this wonder is deeper than place. If what my husband says is true, that everyone gets on my nerves, I could make anyplace my place. But that leads me to think, hey, some people get on my nerves More than others, and I'd rather live by the ones who get on my nerves less. But this is not what place means. I've gotten off the path of place. In the movie, when you can't leave a place, it's your place. (When you don't want to leave, not when you are forced to stay) I am tormented with the prospect of leaving and staying. Like the song says, "should I stay or should I go now?" I can't remember feeling this torn and undecided about anything else. In the movie, Mario stays in a poor valley, oppressed by the man, because it is his place, but he sends his wife and child back to the big city for their sakes and they go. I guess it wasn't their place. But the boy comes back! so, maybe it was his place afterall. But I can't remember if he stayed or if he just wanted to visit his father's grave. We saw this movie in January and now the teacher expects us to write a paper on it NOW. I guess she gets on my nerves too.

Condo Blues

I hated 'em, he loved 'em.
He said, "I don't know anyone who doesn't get on your nerves."
He's right.

Thin Bones

I think it is so neat to see what each day brings. Yesterday I ended up on a chiropractor's theraputic bed with rollers for free. At the spur of the moment I asked my husband if he would be willing to go see a doctor for his back pain and he agreed. We got right in, and when they were setting him up for muscle pulsing, I joked that they could set me up on this bed next to him, and they did! It was so nice to lie there for 7 minutes while this roller when up and down my spine from my neck to my buttocks. I think we both fell asleep. Then we went to eat Mexican food and got bloated and happy.

A Disfunctional Day Yesterday

Today I get to play Grandma. My 6-year old niece asked me to sit in for Grandma today for lunch at her school. So I will forego the planned lecture at 11:20 by my favorite teacher. I had to think about it for a while before I made the family decision. I really wanted to hear what my teacher had to say about the borderlands, but it's not everyday that a cute little girl with big blue eyes needs me. Actually, it is, but it is not so evident as today. I had a hard time going to sleep last night after such an eventful day. After I rode in a hummer with a womanizer, my disfunctional family graced me with their presence. Judy, with her dead-pan face and tired body sat at the kitchen table and drank my last two beers after a long hard day in the flower bed. She voiced her disappointments with her husband not cooking her supper and not helping her with the yard work. She yelled at the kids. The kids yelled back. They finally left. One hour later, Ron shows up to pick up a computer disk. He begins asking questions about Judy being here in a way that made me uncomfortable. He got upset that I gave her L.R.'s book for him to read. He made a mean comment about not cooking for her. Then he asked me what I think.... I didn't have the heart to tell him what I thought. As the song goes, "Don't ask me what I think of you, I might not give the answer that you want me too." Poor thing only has three hours to prepare for work. Needless to say, I didn't get much studying done yesterday.

Hummer Days

Well, you just never know what a day will bring. Today I planned on studying all day and instead I ended up riding in a hummer and enjoying the absolutely beautiful spring-like day on the dike. The pelicans and seagulls were gracefully flying and gliding around looking for food as the ships and barges were moving along the ship channel in between the fairies transporting springbreak visitors back and forth from Galveston to Bolivar. I think I feel some heat on my face from the sun that graced it through the moon roof. Now back at home, I pop a top and wish I were back there.

City Life

Well, here I am in the city. I enjoyed a lecture last night by Bell Hooks on "Ending Domination: Race, Class, Gender"
I thought it was o.k., but did not live up to the hipe it got. It was a full house and the audience seemed to enjoy her more than I did. She says that without love, our lives are without meaning. She believes that patriarchy is the most life threatening disease of men and that they must be taught, from boyhood, not to dominate. Oh, did I forget to mention that she is a feminist? But she is a good feminist, I am told. She incorporates men into her agenda. Smart move. Men are wonderful.

I hear the mowers next door. The leaves are still falling. The water is dried up. On this day in 1989, Mom was enjoying a partly sunny, partly cloudy day, and she turned on her air conditioner, 70 degrees. Dad raked leaves in the front yard yesterday and today. So she wrote on her calendar.

Ron came by for coffee this morning. Judy called here after he'd been here five minutes or less to tell him to come home. I named her Lucille.

Good day.....

Country Life

Well, here I am in the country. It felt so good driving away from the chemical plants and into the country on country roads. Now I'm looking out of my window at a forest of pine, hard wood, and cedar trees. Little birds are hopping around the window frame peeking in at me. They are chirping. I smell the burning tree in the back 40. After I post this entry, I will walk down the driveway, pass over the creek (unplug it while I'm there), and continue my walk up to the road to mail the bills. When I arrived here yesterday, I let the cat out of the truck and he immediately went to the nearest pine tree and dug his claws into it. He is happy to be here, too. My husband and my dogs, Rue and Sammy, were elated to see me. I like it here.

A New Blog

Well, I finally achieved success creating a new blog. There is nothing like having to study to motivate me to do anything else but study. I like this new format much better. That green format was depressing me. I just wish I had more links to add, to my life as well. But I am so thankful for my two links to anothernotebook and google news. That's cool. This is a test, this is only a test. I will now return to my study....