Not Sleepy in Texas City

Can't sleep. I feel disconnected and/or scattered.

Sammy and Tux just both headed under the plastic lawn chair that sits in the kitchen. That was funny.

I feel impending doom. Death is in the air.

The other night I dreamed I got hit by a car and wounded as I ran from a woman with an ax who was going to catch me sooner or later and wack me to death.

My hair is falling out. My feet hurt. My left eye is swollen.

I don't know why I exist anymore. Once upon a time I thought I knew. Now it doesn't seem to matter anymore.

I am going to start taking my mood boost pills again.

A Night Out with the Races

This is Cultural Diversity Awareness week where I work, and there are a lot of activities planned to make us aware of each other's cultures. Yesterday Barry met me after work and we went to a see a film and be a part of a panel discussion of The Color of Fear. The film is about the "state of race relations in America as seen through the eyes of eight North American men of Asian, European, Latino and African descent." It was very emotional and dramatic. I enjoyed it even though it mainly centered around the black/white tension. The snacks were good, too. We sat by a young black doctor from Louisiana who had a lot to share. (Thoughts, not food) A very animated Italian sat nearby who admitted to everyone that he looked like a big white thumb and was ignorant of the fact that he was invited to hunt and fish with the white business men because he was white, but he wasn't sorry for it. A very old white bald lady (doctor) shared her experience and made everyone laugh when she said she started here when the Dinosaurs were still roaming the campus. She became a doctor because of white parental encouragement.

After we enjoyed listening to people of different nationalities give their opinions, I talked B into attending the next presentation. He was very reluctant, but we headed to the North auditorium and got in line to enter. After straining to understand his broken English, we got to chant with the Dalai Lama's Chant Master! ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. It was awesome. Man can he chant. The audience wasn't too bad either.

After it was over, we walked through a bad neighborhood to our vehicles with renewed resolve and drove home in the dark. That sounds poetic. Barry drove way too slow and I drove too fast. He missed his exit. I beat him home and worried about him the whole time.

Friday we will enjoy a free lunch while looking at various motorcyles on show. I guess they represent the biker culture.

June is Gone Forever

I realized earlier in the week that I didn't post in June. In June the family gathered for our annual reunion. It was a small group, and much more enjoyable than usual. There was some talk about doing the next one at Sonia's house on the lake with just the 1st cousins. Aunt Irene looked great for 96 or so although very petite. I got stuck with the two big bags of stuff for another year. I resent that.

Yesterday I bought Korn's Greatest Hits CD. I love it. I think I may have shocked the husband when I came out of the mall, jumped in the truck, ripped open the package with my teeth, stuck it in to play, turned it up reasonably loud and 'Word Up' came on, Korn style. It sounded so good. And of course I had to skip to track three. I wished I was with someone of my own caliber for awhile. Someone to headbang with. I felt a bit restrained.

Tonight the husband invited me to Outback for dinner. Maybe Korn had an effect on him? We ate in comfortable silence. The steak was good. The bread and butter superb. On the way home I mentioned Korn and asked him if he was offended last night by the music. He said he was a bit shocked and wondered how my mom would react to that music. Then he imagined his sister, the devout Catholic, listening to it. We laughed, but I still have a funny feeling inside. It is the first time that I ever stopped to think that I may offend my husband with my actions. hum...

It's also been two weeks or more since I ran out of anti-depressant herbs. I've been doing o.k., I think. Maybe this wondering about my actions is related to no drugs. Come to think about it, that Kangaroo in the picture at Outback kept staring at me.

We drove through the old neighborhood in League City on our way home and talked with Doug, our neighbor. He filled us in on the goings on. Our big tree has been cut down, the eve on the house is rotting, and the house next door sold for $135,000. B almost s.

Before we drove through the neighborhood, we parked and walked past the old classic cars gathered on Main Street. We saw a Porche (Toy Jet), a Hot Rod Lincoln, a Camero SS, and many more cool cars that were loud as they pulled in.

Work has been uneventful.

B has the yard and house looking very nice and neat.

We watched fireworks at the school yard with Raun, Ron, and Tiffany. Kyle went to be with his Mom and Josh was a whinney baby so Judy took him home. We saw three large sharks and a stringray on the dike.

We went to Turkey Creek, Louisiana and met Put and Liz at Jill's new vacant house. Put and B mowed the big lawn front and back, then it rained real hard. A big tree fell on three mobil homes down the road and demolished them. No one was home at the time. We slept on a blow-up mattress. Put slept on a lawn lounge chair, very uncomfortable. Liz brought a twin bed and Put set it up for her, she slept like a baby.

I've rambled enough. We'll see what July brings.