Stress, Strain, & Bloody Eye

This past week has proven to be an emotional one to say the least. It started out pleasent enough with a one day/one night visit with Jacob in Dallas. While he was at work, I lugged, washed, dryed, and folded six loads of his laundry (happily). After work we drove to Addison in peak traffic (unhappily) and ate a tasty Italian dinner. Jacob insisted on driving my car. His driving scared me, and it wasn't until we made it home in one piece that we noticed that he had driven home with the emergency brake on. P-U

I arrived at Rick's house Tuesday morning (my birthday). We enjoyed a cup of coffee together and then he left for work. I looked around, a bit overwhelmed at the clutter (my job). I began with the dishes and ended with the boxes. In between Nathan and I moved the piano against Rick's wishes. The newly refurnished wooden floors were the center of conversation and obsession. He wanted me to call a furniture mover to move the very heavy piano three feet. I could not find the phone book amid the clutter. I made an executive decision to utilize Nathan (who looked like PopEye with buldging muscles). If we did not move the piano, it would have stayed in the middle of the room for another year, and Julie had said that moving the piano was the catalyst to get her to go through the myrid of boxes. We were VERY careful, but the top of the piano came to a rest against the trim of the walkway leaving a tiny indenture. Rick freaked out and made an awlful comment that made me cry. Julie was very understanding as I broke down on her shoulder when she arrived home, late.

Meanwhile I received a sad phone call from Barry. John Smith called to let us know that Tala's son, Robby, age 21, had died in his sleep. We were friends when she was pregnant with Robby, and we spent many weekends on the dike with our children (as newly singled moms). I have fond memories of Robby running on the sand like a little bird.

I called a plumber (with Rick's permission) to fix the hot water nozzle in the bathtub and to check on why the hot water had low pressure. I was very impressed with the plumber. He fixed the faucet and said the low pressure was probably due to rust build up. He said it would probably be cost effective to replumb the pipes rather than replace all the elbows. I left him in Rick's care. The last I heard, Rick doesn't like him and is going to call someone else. (They'll live with low water pressure until they die)

In the middle of all the stress and work, I managed to enjoy visiting with the boys. They are so cute and unique. And Julie bought a cake and a gift for my birthday. Christopher called to wish me a happy birthday while they were singing to me. He listened in and then spoke briefly to R and D. He totaly surprised me. :)

In all fairness to Rick, there is a reason for his demeanor, and I love him in spite of it.

It's so good to be home. Barry cut his hair and trimmed his beard just for me. He looks 10 years younger. We drank beer and sang kariokee and he brought me my coffee upstairs the next morning as I was talking to Jacob on the phone. He's glad I'm home, too.

Oh, my left eye became bloody after I moved the piano. It looks really nasty. I thought I was going to die the night of the move. I felt myself fainting during my sleep, so I sat up real quick and recovered. I may have been dreaming.

Birthday Month Ramblings

This month will see Duncan, Ricky, Chris, Todd and me all turn a year older. We are all walking our long green mile. How will we end? It's anybody's guess. Keep it in mind so as not to get stale in life.

I think about staleness in life as I prepare to go to Fort Worth tomorrow. I am becoming stale. This is my first trip alone in a long time and I am aware of it for the first time. I usually just hop in the car and take off without a care, but this time I am oddly aware of myself. I think of being alone, getting into car trouble, being lonely, not being able to help correctly (I'm helping Julie organize her house), etc. I don't feel comfortable driving from Fort Worth to Dallas to visit with Jacob (although I will do it). The traffic scares me like it never did before. This makes me want to cry. Getting older is a strange and ugly experience, but at the same time I don't think I'd want to be younger. Naaa. I wouldn't mind being in my 30's again. That was a perfect age for me. Even though those were my hardest years (divorce and a 2nd marriage), they were my finest. My fourties have been the tell-tell "I'm aging" years. My mom's death catapolted me into the new "oldest" role that I somehow do not fit in. Now Thanksgivings and other holidays are different (not as fun). I'm the one in charge as the younger ones play. I don't like it. I want to play. And I can never live up to what was before me. My house is the ominous place of 'Grandma.' I'm not even a grandma and I'm grandma in personification. Everyone come to Grandma's house for Thanksgiving this year! This house has a love/hate presence about it. If I lived in my other TC house, no one would want to come to TC for Thanksgiving. It's this house. And that is exactly why I bought the thing. It's power over me is strange. I think it must be Mother's power over me. "Sarah, please buy this house and take care of Ronnie when I'm gone." Jeez..............

I'm going to go get another cup of Jo and get reborn. :)

Sidewalk Passing

Today as Barry and I were walking down the sidewalk along Texas Avenue towards 6th street, we noticed a man walking in our direction. As we got nearer to each other, the man moved off of the sidewalk onto the street. (The sidewalk was large enough to handle all of us). Barry and I both nodded our heads "hello" and Barry audibly said "Howdy." The man did not return the gesture. He only gave us a little more than a glance with no facial or audible hello.

Can you guess why?