Just Yesterday

Just yesterday I was pregnant. Two summers in a row. Now, twenty-four years later, I sit alone. I wonder sometimes if I would feel more alone if my spouse died. I am now the next in line to die. We all have to do it. I'm next. Found a poem written by Mom in the 80's, "Entering age is like leaving a party and coming home to an empty abode." That could be a good thing, but I read it as a sad thing. Just yesterday, Ma-Moo won a singer sewing machine at Almeda Mall. Now she is dead. Just yesterday Mom enjoyed a song. Now she is dead. Today I'm blogging, tomorrow I'm gone? My oh my, why do we have to die? What will my legacy be? Fishsticks? Why is a legacy important? Will my decendents care a thing about me when I'm gone? Will my great great grandchildren wonder about me and what kind of a life I led? What will they find in their search? My blogs. Hello little ones. I wish I was with you now, enjoying being alive, full of wisdom. It's true, an idle mind is the devil's playground. I'm up at the place in the country with an idle mind, and see what I'm thinking about... Without some lesson to prepare for, my mind is straying to the side of doom and gloom. Earlier I read two essays I wrote regarding Middle Eastern History. I was impressed with myself. I plan on re-reading the many papers and notes that I wrote over the past four years in an attempt to remember what I learned. I am thankful that I went to college and earned a degree. I wish I would have earned a money making degree instead of a humanities degree. Only because now I have to re-enter the working world as an educated 'Clerk.' Well, I hear the spouse in the kitchen. I'll close now.