Peer Pressure

Earlier tonight around 11:00 p.m. he said he didn't succumb to peer pressure when I pressed him to come for Christmas. After a wonderful long conversation regarding his interview in Chicago, his offer from Sears, his future living arrangments, his graduation ceremony and party, etc., I told him I was going to Cleveland tomorrow to pick up the dinning room table and the big tv in preparation for Christmas. I told him I hoped he was coming. Silence. Hello? "I haven't thought about it." What's to think about? "I have to check my schedule." Whatever. "I don't succumb to peer pressure." I felt an empty feeling inside my chest. I dismissed it and went to bed. I was beginning to fall asleep when I heard a cat fight outside my window. I went downstairs to check on my cat; I saw him curled up in the rocking chair in the kitchen. I went back up stairs and tried to go back to sleep. Every noise became pronounced. I tossed and turned. "I don't succumb to peer pressure." Doom and gloom. All of a sudden everything on my schedule seemed as though it should be canceled. The trip to Cleveland (the table and the tv are way too heavy, and Little Ronnie is probably too sick to really help us); and my dentist appointment (I hate him). I don't feel right about Christmas dinner. I feel it is a gathering of people that really don't want to be gathered together at all. And what to get for each of them??? "I don't succumb to peer pressure." I miss mom. I feel like the whole world is on my shoulders. Ronnie came over today acting crazy about little Ronnie's vanity. Kicking a dead horse. The new driveway has imperfections. The cat prints added some character, but the hills and valleys are just results of plain stupidity. Why is it the contractors don't see what I see? Are profectionists really profectionists, or are they just observant. The chemical plants or something out there is making a strange noise. It is coming from the opposite way of the plants. Good grief. I am going to be a very lonely old woman.